One Parenting Challenge Solved by the Obamas

 June 26, 2025

Michelle Obama once faced a dilemma that many parents encounter: how to get their children to fall asleep on their own.

According to News Nation, the former First Lady recently opened up about an early parenting struggle with her husband, Barack, over adopting the Ferber Method, a sleep training technique for their young daughters.

In a candid discussion on her "IMO" podcast with social psychologist Jonathan Haidt, Michelle revealed their initial disagreement over using a controversial yet widely practiced method known as the Ferber Method. Created by Richard Ferber, this technique involves leaving a child to cry for a set duration before checking on them. Despite her hesitation, the Obamas decided to try this method for their daughters as they navigated the challenges of sleep training.

A Structured Approach to Sleep Training

Initially, Michelle struggled with the idea of letting her daughters cry without offering immediate comfort. Her emotional response, she speculated, could have been influenced by hormonal changes following childbirth. However, Barack's differing perspective prompted a critical discussion about managing their daughters' sleep habits.

Barack assumed responsibility for the night shift, a decision that played a pivotal role in implementing their chosen training method. This allowed Michelle to catch up on much-needed rest while also helping the family adhere to their new routine. Michelle would cover her ears at night to avoid hearing the cries, which speaks to the difficulty of adhering to strict sleep training guidelines.

The couple started the Ferber Method after one of their daughters was weaned from breastfeeding at four or five months old. Determined to resolve their daughters' sleep challenges quickly, the Obamas agreed on the importance of beginning early. Michelle highlighted that early intervention often results in faster adaptation and success.

Adjusting to a New Family Rhythm

The transition to the Ferber Method did not take long. According to Michelle, significant progress was noted after just two nights, and the entire process took no longer than a week. This efficient adaptation underscored the effectiveness of beginning sleep training as early as possible.

In discussing their experience, Michelle emphasized how crucial it was to establish a plan and stick to it. She mentioned, “The sooner that you start … removing the symptom, the quicker you start to implement the action, the more responsive the child is.” This statement encapsulates their strategic approach to parenting challenges.

Both Barack and Michelle coped with their concerns by dividing responsibilities, with Barack managing the night routine. This teamwork illustrated their commitment to parenting collaboratively, despite initial disagreements.

Reflecting on Shared Parenting Trials

Married in 1992, the Obamas welcomed their eldest daughter, Malia, in 1998, followed by Sasha in 2001. During these early years, learning to balance parenting duties was crucial for the couple. Michelle’s revelation about using the Ferber Method adds another layer to the public's understanding of their partnership.

The Obamas relied on collaboration and compromise to resolve their parenting challenge as they navigated their children’s early years. Michelle’s conversation with Haidt sheds light on the difficult choices parents make, striving for what they believe is best for their children.

In highlighting this personal story, Michelle illustrates that even high-profile families encounter common parenting hurdles and find solutions through teamwork and open communication.

The Importance of Transparency in Parenting

Michelle’s candidness about their experience aims to offer reassurance to parents who may face similar debates over sleep training methods. Her account serves not only as a reflection on a pivotal parenting moment but also as an encouragement to other mothers and fathers.

Addressing such challenges helps underscore the notion that a shared approach to parenting can yield successful results, even amid differing opinions. By sharing their disagreement and ultimate agreement, Michelle hopes to provide insight and encouragement to other parents navigating family life.

Ultimately, the Obamas’ story highlights the universal experience of parenting negotiations and the potential benefits of embracing new methods with an open mind.