Chinese Spy Balloon Spotted Over Montana

 February 3, 2023

In a move that is sure to make multiple cartoon supervillains extremely envious, China has launched a surveillance balloon the size of three gigantic busses over America.

Pentagon spokesperson Brig. General Pat Ryder told America on Jan. 31 that the huge floating object was in fact a tool of Chinese surveillance, saying:

The United States government has detected and is tracking a high-altitude surveillance balloon that is over the continental United States right now. The U.S. government to include Norad, continues to track and monitor it closely. The balloon is currently traveling at an altitude well above commercial air traffic and does not present a military or physical threat to people on the ground. Instances of this kind of balloon activity have been observed previously over the past several years. Once the balloon was detected, the U.S. government acted immediately to protect against the collection of sensitive information.

While many want the government to simply shoot the object down, that's easier said than done. That's some extremely heavy equipment that's floating around up there, and many people could be in serious danger as a result of the large debris field.

Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin confirmed the decision to not take military action against the Chinese because of "the risk to safety and security of people on the ground from the possible debris field."

While that may be true, it's unsettling to know that China has landed in America, and we're not doing a dang thing about it.